"You are exhausting"-Mark the Shark

This is why Mark loves me...or tolerates me.

Setting: Putting groceries in the car after leaving Sam's Club

Me: (looking at the receipt) Oh my gosh! Your medicine costs $80!! WTH?
Mark: You're kidding. I thought it was like $20.
Me: No, it definitely says $80. What were you thinking?
Mark: (running around the car to see the receipt) WTF they messed up the price!! Let me see that.
Mark: You b*tch. (said in a joking manner).
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yeah it was only $20.

Setting: Putting groceries in the car after leaving Kroger...the same day

Mark: Wow I can't believe we spent $144. It really didn't seem like we got that many groceries.

Me: We didn't. The clerk told me it was $104.

Mark: Well I'm looking at the receipt and it says total $144.

Me: It shouldn't...

Mark: Oh well it says there was a $40 cash back. Did you get $40 cash?

Me: No....

Mark: Yes you did.

Me: No I really didn't. Do you think the clerk just pocketed the money? I've read chain emails about that happening!!

Mark: What?

Me: Yeah they just hit cash back when you're not looking and pocket your money! Oh my gosh, I'm turning around right now and we are going to get this straightened out.

Mark: (incredulous tone) You really didn't get cash back??

Me: No just kidding, I did.

DISCLAIMER: Mark's comment upon reading this, "You got this all wrong."